5 posts tagged “papers”

I had my first client for a second time today. :) It went well, although for a portion of the session I felt less like the primary and more like the co-therapist. In two weeks I will be on my own, so we will see how it goes. It was good to be in session though. It is like my own little world with the few citizens at a time that are predicatbly unpredictable.

I have a paper due in a couple hours. I also have to present for five minutes. For a portion of my presentation I was making a cake so around 11:00 last night I realized if I didn't start it then I would be up really late! I took a break about four to sleep until 6:30 and then finish up my paper before my client showed up. I was still sitting in the bean bag, not dressed, at 9:40 and my client was at 10:00! I made it into the control room right behind my co-therapist and then she got buzzed and it was time to go in!

Now I'm just chilling in the classroom until class at 1:00. I need to go find something to eat, but I'm not hungry! I'm really trying to only eat when I'm hungry. Well, off to see the wizard!

I finished my paper close to 5:00 am. I realized about halfway through that I left three sources at home. In most cases, I could just run home and come back, but because the building is locked, if I had gone home, I wouldn't have gotten to finish my paper. Catch 22s are rotten. In any case, it's done and I feel like it's terrible, but I feel that way about every paper and I've been getting As, so I'm not going to complain, too much.

I wasn't going to go to sleep when I got home, but a little before 6 I decided a nap wouldn't hurt. I never heard my alarm and woke up nine minutes into class. They were just done with the annoucements, etc. when I got there so I didn't miss much.

Yesterday when I was out, the UPS man came by to deliver some books on Murray Bowen for my paper due Tuesday. I thought they would be here sooner and I was frustrated that the one time I left the apartment, the guy came. This morning I took the time (even though I was running late) to sign the UPS slip and put it on my door. When I got back the original slip was gone and a 2nd notice slip was there. I was going to read all day tomorrow, well, at least the part when I wasn't sleeping or delivering cheesecakes. With my luck, the guy will come when I'm delivering cheesecakes. I'm going to sign the second slip and see if this guy gets it.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned it, but there is a women's conference this weekend and I've been "hired" to make three cheesecakes for it. I made the first one in the break between class and work. The other two I'll make tonight. It's going to be a long night.

Lately I tend to go off on a tangent in my thoughts while in class. Especially this morning when I was so tired. I'm not sure what triggered it, but I had this memory come across my mind. I was in sixth grade, approaching Christmas break. I was by myself at my grandmother's and had been talking with my classmates about everything that was going on in my life. I somehow managed to convince them that I wouldn't have much of a Christmas and the last day before break they came and had gifts for me and everything. It wasn't really what my goal was, or if I even had a goal. Looking at that event now, I realize that at some point in my life I learned that people only care when there is something big going on, good or bad. I can think of a series of events following, and previous, to that Christmas where I may have acted more concerned about things just to manipulate someone else into acting like they cared. The rotten thing about manipulating people into caring is that after you succeed in the manipulation you wonder if all future affections are a result of the initial manipulation and question the sincerity of others.

I used to go through phases in my other online journal. I'd keep it public, willing to let anyone read some of the depth of my thoughts. Then I'd realize that some of the things I was sharing was basically being thrown around to anyone who would pay attention and that isn't the best thing. Then I'd go friends only, delete most of my "friends" and start over. I probably went through my entire journal five or six times each switching every entry back and forth from public to friends only. If you knew how much I wrote, you would know how ridiculous that is.

I still do it though. I'll not show up places just to see if anyone notices I'm not there. I'll turn off my phone when I'm writing a paper only to realize I don't get any phone calls, or my sister will freak out and call the clinic. :) I'm trying to do it less, but I forget some days that I think that way and it seems so automatic after so many years.

I think that's one reason I pay so much attention to the little details of other people. I remember names, faces, birthdays (even if I don't do anything about it), co-workers, kids names, spouses names, favorites of my friends to reinforce their own visibility and an effort to counteract my own invisibility.

This weekend is one where I have to go invisible. Paper due Tuesday, lots to read. Well, invisible all but Sunday.

I have a 10 page paper due tomorrow morning. I don't work well until the pressure is on so I hadn't started typing it yet when I found that my adapter on my computer is dead and I cannot use my computer at all. I've been talking online with Dell because my computer is still under warranty *whew* and they just said they are going to send me a replacement one! I just hope it can be here by tomorrow so I don't have to write my other paper on campus. I'm not a fan of Microsoft Word. *blech*

Just a little note to say . . . that paper, you know, the one that I started the night before and had to be fifteen pages? A! Yep! Sure, it was a low A because I was short a couple pages, but in the end, an A is an A. Glad I don't have to worry about that over the holiday! Looks like the rest are going to look good as well. :)

Today in class half of the class convinced Dr. Rackley to bump our paper due date (which was next Monday) to the week after that. I really had no preference either way. I'm still having quite the time trying to narrow down a topic in spite of extensive research on a plethora of areas in search of inspiration. In any case, I'd like to say that I'd write the paper in spite of things, but I can't make any promises. I feel rather lost with this paper and having to choose. Not because I don't have anything I want to learn about, but more that the things I want to learn most about have very little research to support it and then other topics I choose are so broad that reading 2,500 articles will take up the rest of the semester and my mind will be about the consistency of mush by the time the day is out. Family story is due next Thursday and I'll be happy to have that over with even though I'll have the presentation for Pollard's class the day after the new deadline for Rackley.

I think we are going to have a study session for Abnormal tonight. That will be rather helpful for me, but either way I'm going to be spending time studying tonight regardless. There is much to be done in the next couple weeks. It is all piling up at once.

I've heard several second years say that these two breaks of Thanksgiving and Christmas should be taken advantage of because next year we won't really have a break. I mean, how many therapists do you know that can take a month off of seeing their clients?  Yeah, I didn't think so. Some of the places will require us to work Saturdays for sure and I'm a little concerned about Sundays for a series of reasons. Just thinking about it begins to exhaust me, so I'll not think about it until it is upon me.

Another cool thing, I now have unlimited invitations to this site so if any of my readers want to join in let me know and I'll send an invite to you. :)