4 posts tagged “ethics”
Tonight I encountered an ethical dilemma that I never anticipated. My client offered me money. I know what you're thinking "um, don't your clients pay you?" to which I would respond that we don't see any of that money. Not a dime. Sure, there is a never-ending stock of chocolate in the clinic, but I think that's the only place it goes. In any case, I had finished the session with my client and we were walking out. I stopped the VCR and he stepped back in the room. He asked if he could give me $100-$200 for my friends and I. I told him I couldn't.
He continued. I told him he could call up to the clinic and see if they needed anything. He said the university has plenty of money, he wants to do something for ME. I told him that I cannot accept gifts according to the ethical code. He wouldn't accept it. He said I could take all my friends out to dinner or something. I again turned down his offer. Being persistent, he again insisted on doing something for me. I told him that we are collecting money for one of our professors this week because his wife has cancer and they have a lot of debt. I told him that if he insisted upon giving me the money then I'd donate it to that and wouldn't use it for myself. To which he handed me a $100 bill.
It was so frustrating to not be able to accept it. Especially at the end of the semester and $100 in my pocket would have seriously relieved some stress in my life for the next few months.
I walked into the control room and one of the supervisors and two of my classmates saw the entire thing. I made them watch me put it in the envelope for our professor. I still felt like I broke the code for taking the money, but he would not accept no as an answer. I'm glad there was somewhere to channel it so he felt like he was still helping, but also I wouldn't have to actually accept it.
Speaking of money...we talked about finances in our Marital Therapy class today (among other things) and our professor did a very serious job of pimping out Dave Ramsey. So, if you're in financial woes (speaking to myself first of course) then check it out and get out of debt!
When I entered the program I didn't really expect too much religious conflict to arise. We both share the foundation of Jesus Christ so there can't really be that much different, can there?
Usually I refrain from participating in debates in classes. Mostly because half of my class graduated as Bible majors and know the Bible so much better than I do, but also because most of the things they fight about are issues that only need to be established if we are going to be judging everyone around us. Since I'm not planning on doing that, I don't participate. Generally, it's a good plan.
Until...I disagree. Disagreeing isn't anything out of the ordinary for me in class, but when it crosses over to the therapy room I get a little frustrated. I have a client that I disagree with. Some may argue that it is a non-issue. To him this area of conflict is acceptable. To me, it is a sin. It is quite a struggle to accept his opinion and not make efforts to convince him otherwise.
In one of our very first classes we talked about biases. I am fully aware of mine and feel like I am sometimes overly aware of my bias. Especially in this situation. The trouble is, I feel like his behavior strongly contributes to his unhappiness and decreased relationship with God. He disagrees.
So, my question is how do I maintain my lack of bias? Is there an ethical conflict if I don't agree with his manner of coping? Just something on my mind tonight.
I got a new client yesterday. New clients are typical fare these days. I get another on Thursday. Also, I'm racking in the male clients. I got my first male client last week and there are so many ethical considerations surrounding the client that only my supervisor can watch the sessions. My new client yesterday was also a man, but about twice as old. This one was interesting because there were so many characteristics about himself that he would criticize but he didn't know that we shared those characteristics. The thing is...he is who I would be in a matter of years, if I were male. This is not to say that we'll have exactly the same "issues" but more, it was a glimpse of how my life could be if I continue in some of my false conclusions about myself and other people. The difficult part is being so close to the problem.
I like to believe that all my classmates have clients that have characteristics that hit a little close to home. This presents a welcome challenge. I'm an introspect, anyone that knows me will not disagree. When there is something brought to my attention about myself, whether directly or indirectly, I often think on that topic until I have figured out a portion, if not all, of it. This introspection can serve as a strong distraction in session. There was much talk at the beginning of the program about bias and transference and how important it is to be aware of them in the session. The difficulty in this case is it's so close to home, I have no idea how to help him, so we're going to have to help each other.
In other (*excuse me for regressing to seventh grade for a moment*) FREAKIN' AWESOME news, my client that has been having anxiety attacks every day for the past five years...stopped having attacks two weeks ago following a homework assignment I gave them! That seriously made my day! I'm certainly not a master therapist, or even close to it. Most days each of us are lucky to get one thing out that we really want to say in therapy because we're working on the timing of it all (i.e. we think of something great to say after it is said). We often stop seeing clients because they just stop coming, not because we successfully "fix" them and they move on (at least at this level). It is really nice to see change and know I had a small part in it. If nothing else than being the mouthpiece for what they need to hear.
I finished
There is much to be said. :)
I haven't started that Murray Bowen book yet. Mostly because I have a paper due in two weeks and I have about a book a day to read until then to be able to congeal my point in my mind and to give it a good foundation. Hopefully. As part of my paper I read a book this weekend about how journaling can speed the process of therapy.
I'm a journal writer by many means. Flashbacks to my high school "journal" are less than eventful or pensive, but I have a minimum of six or seven journals going right now in various forms and stages. There is the one by my bed, the one in my scriputures, the other one by my bed for a listing of things I eventually want to do, one listing things I don't want to forget, one that is actually in tape form for when I need to talk and there isn't anyone to talk to, then my little notebook that I keep to remind me to write something in another journal, then my online journals which number in the four or five range right now although only two or three are current.
Something we talked about in Ethics really got me thinking. We have finally begun the transition between the Ethical Code and the Legal aspects which means that we switch teachers as well because the usual teacher is on a mission trip in Greece this semester. In any case, the new teacher starts off by asking the class of our view of authority. Personally, I never really think of authority in any type of way. I know there have been some instances where I didn't really comply with authority and others where I followed quite easiliy. Then the teacher said that if you look at how you live versus how you want to be perceived then that will tell you what your philosophy on authority is. An example a classmate gave is that of a police officer, which I had to laugh at because of my multiple encounters with officers of the law. The thing is, everyone says I should get a radar detector, but isn't that really acting like I'm the exception to some rule? Isn't that like saying, "I want to break the law and not pay the consequences"? What is frustrating is that I really don't speed that frequently, I just get caught when I do, every time.
Back to authority. I never really imagined myself to have an issue with authority, but sitting in class I realized how many rules I find exception with, or try to. There are many habits I have not developed that are really good, substantiated habits, but don't develop them for one reason or another, but often for absolutely no reason. I think I need to merge how I live to how I want to be perceived, but I think that is the case with most of us.
More court tomorrow, then that's it.
