I deal with a lot of different kinds of people. Some of them will make a very big deal about very small things. I received an e-mail "reminder" about a meeting concerning one of my clients. This was not a reminder and my schedule was full. Instead, a representative from the place that scheduled the meeting called for my feedback. I reported the facts: the mother had an appointment with me and missed it. A week later, she called me back and left a message. I returned her call, but did not get an answer. I had heard nothing since (about two weeks ago). This particular mother wants to reunify with her children and have overnight visits. The problem is, she's not cooperating in therapy so I can determine if she is appropriate with her daughter and it's okay for the visits. I keep getting reports from outside sources that mom doesn't believe that her daughter was sexually abused by her step-father and is being inappropriate about it.
I say all this to say that she called this morning (the meeting was yesterday afternoon) and had a very tense conversation with one of the staff in the office. She then tells one of our receptionists that I didn't call her back and it's my fault she isn't with her kids. Because of my failure to call her, the receptionist also e-mailed me. I called her back, expecting a tirade of frustration only to be greeted by an understanding woman placing blame on the same support staff member. She claimed she called to see when her appointment was with me and she was told there was no appointment and I would be calling her when an appointment was needed.
I think it's interesting that people are angry and confrontational to people not involved, but when it comes down to it, they back down. Which side is the real side? I suppose that in the end she knew it wasn't my fault the appointment was missed and that just wasn't going to fly. Some people.
I meet with a variety of children and parents in my line of work. I have some parents that will admit all the things they are doing "wrong" and then correct these behaviors. There are others that will hide facts and even others that will claim to be doing things they are not. After working with them for a while, I tend to form an opinion about these families. About 25% of my clients are also involved in the state in regard to children's protective services.
I have one family that protective services has tried to remove the children, but there are arguments for each side. I returned to work about the middle of September. The dad did not keep their appointments and an order was filed. The dad was talking about "adult things" with the children, sending them to school without being clean (hair, clothes, etc.), and not keeping therapy appointments.
Last week I finally got in touch with him and set the appointments. His daughter arrives coughing, obviously with a severe fever, nausea, etc. I'm not thrilled. He had checked her out because she was sick, but didn't have the insight to think to cancel her appointment with me. She leaves and I tell the case manager that she will not be participating in the group activity that day.
I find out this morning that the girl, her brother, and dad all have swine flu. Great.
My main frustration is that this guy seems to be devoid of any common sense or consideration of his daughter feeling sick. She is a trooper and dragged herself out of bed to come to therapy, but really, should he have made her come? This is one of the families I find myself on the fence about. Neither parent is really capable of caring for these kids but they need their parents. I'm just glad it's not my decision.
