My health insurance company has this really great website that hooks me up with all kinds of neat articles in pretty much any category I could want. I was browsing around on it yesterday trying to find a local doctor that could handle all the baby stuff and ended up also finding an article about television/video games, etc. and how they are "bad" for our kids.
The article referenced the blog by the same doctor (Christine Carter, Ph.D.) and I found an entire website that appears to be a really great resource for parents. Had I known about this site when my case managers started a Parent Support Group, I would have felt much better about helping out with the group.
In any case, I've found myself absorbed in the site since I found it. Every topic is so relevant to society and the needs of parents, I would encourage anyone to check it out. You might just find something that fits you! :)
Until then, Happy New Year!
This morning, I got the rare experience of doing a "session" with an adult. Not one of those where I feel like I have to sneak in the back door and convince them there is something they need to be different. Not one that just frustrates me because the adult doesn't realize the damage they are doing to their lives and their children's lives. I feel very fortunate to have gotten to have this session on the day such as this.
In reality, it wasn't a session at all. I just happened to stop in to a co-worker's office on my way upstairs and it turned into a session. I've been fortunate that this co-worker and I already have the relationship where we can discuss things of a therapeutic nature. It makes me even more grateful that he gets along well with my husband and spends time outside of work with him, just the two of them.
I suppose what is interesting is that as I'm leaving his office he thanks me for the "session". The longer I think about it, the less I feel that he got more out of it than I did. Very few clients will open the door to talk about God or beliefs and I don't go there unless they open that door. The freedom to be able to address something that I believe is in everyone's core is rare and I appreciate the opportunity a great deal. Having conversations with people whether my spouse, co-worker, or friend is just something that rejuvenates me in a way that I can't quite explain.
I sometimes feel selfish during these conversations because I get so much out of them I can't imagine the other person is getting much more than nothing. In any case, I get to leave work early today and spend it with my favorite person having these conversations all weekend. I am very blessed.
I hope you all have a Merry Christmas!!
This time of year brings about gestures of charity and kindness in many homes and families. As I reflected on this the past little while, it comes to mind the tendency to look outside of our families for those in need. I wonder how often our families need our charity and kindness more than anyone else. I can imagine the pain of knowing a family member is capable of being nice and giving, but only to people that "don't matter".
In my family one of my sisters pointed out that we are "danglers". This means that one sibling might call another talking about how their babysitter fell through and they don't know how on earth they are going to do the things they need to do with the kids in tow. The presenter is waiting for the other person to offer their assistance. Sometimes it works. It was something that was pointed out I suppose as a pattern observation. It seemed to me that I needed to be aware of my own tendency to "dangle". Just ask, right?
I can only theorize that there is something about just asking. Maybe we need to sell how terrible a plight we are in so that the other person cannot deny us. Maybe we think that if we just said "hey, I need you" then it would get rejected. Then again, maybe we think everyone should bend at our every call and so we shouldn't have to ask, they should just "know" to help us.
I am torn between these two things. As the person in need, I do not object to asking for help. At the same time, I think everyone's lives would be a little better if we saw a need and filled it, without someone having to ask. Those two things seem to oppose each other in my head, but make complete sense at the same time.
I think both of them boil down to pride. Are we too proud to admit we need help? Or are we too proud to serve someone else? Are we so focused on how little people help us that we don't see how many people need us?
I am a helper, by profession, I suppose. Every day it is my job to help people's lives and relationships improve. There are many times that I do not know what the other person expects or needs me to do. I'm sure there are many days that I fall short of expectations or what people need. I hesitate to "fix" when some people just want to be listened to. Finding that balance is something I have yet to master, but I'm working on it.
Do you see only your needs or the needs of others as well? Then, what do you do about it?
A few months ago I was charged with the assignment to beef up our "Parenting Library" to comply with a contract for Safe and Stable Families. I was given a budget and created a list. While having this on my mind, I noticed on my friend Dr. Wally's website an offer for free books that he had authored. I had already read one of his books and had no doubt that any project he was associated with would be worth my time.
I wrote in to the e-mail on his site and quickly received a copy of Soft-Spoken Parenting. It took me a couple days to actually start reading because of work and things, but I sat down and read it last weekend. I suppose it was particularly interesting to me because as I read I could picture his mannerisms, facial expressions, and children as he told the stories.
That is not all that is good about this book. I have so many clients (or rather, parents of clients) that I would like to read this book. It is about not losing your temper with your children and the many ways that can be done. While I was reading this book from a therapist's perspective, there were wonderful options at the end of each suggestion. A place to check whether the suggested method was something the reader could do, had done (but not consistently), would not fit them, as well as a place for notes on progress.
I loved how the book invited the reader to evaluate him/herself after each suggestion to think toward action instead of just reading and not doing. Many times, the parents have difficulty owning their part in their child's negative behavior. This book allows a parent to be insightful about themselves without being offensive or blaming. I've always loved Dr. Wally and his ways of teaching and this is just one more way that he gets more points from me. Plus, I was able to save my work a little money. :)
If you think you may speak a little harshly with your children and later regret it, read this book and follow its counsel. I think you'll be amazed at the difference it will make in your homes.
When I was in school, I had a particular professor who believed that every therapeutic client was there because they were grieving a loss. Sometimes it was an actual death in the family. Other times it was a loss of something they dreamed to have. A loss of friendship. A loss of support. A loss of a relationship. A loss of their job. A loss of hope. A loss of anything.
The past couple months here have been hard on my co-workers. One case manager lost her 13 month old granddaughter and then last week one of the therapists lost his younger brother to a drug overdose. It is a hard time for many people. There are many things that we remember to be missing from our lives.
If I sat down and really thought about it, there would be many things I could list as losses over the course of my years. I'm sure if I dwelled on them regularly, I would be one of those people that don't survive the holiday season. It is difficult to lose things or even feel lost yourself.
I believe it is important to find the things you do have. The things you enjoy. The things that lift you and encourage you to endure the times of loss. So many times people focus so much on what they have lost, they don't see what is still there. Oftentimes this happens with my clients, the children. Their parents are so absorbed in what they don't have such as money, a significant other, etc. that they don't take the time to value what they do have. I hope this Christmas season will help them see what they still have instead of all the things they believe they are lacking in their lives.
I have a collection of quotes from various places. This week I decided to sort through them with the intent of having quotes in my office that are "therapeutic". Good thing I get to make the decision on that one. Anyway, as I'm going through literally hundreds of quotes I start thinking about the people who find the quotes. If I had the time then I'd try and find the real source of the quotes instead of just taking the shortcut. One of my favorite quotes is by Ralph Waldo Emerson and so with the plan of finding the quote, I bought a book. I'm about ten pages in and have been there for about the length of time I've been in my new place.
One day, I'll be someone who finds quotes in books and posts them somewhere. It makes me miss the times when there were people who actually wrote about success and virtues and honor and all that jazz. Not that there are not people that do it now, but it just seems to not be as abundant. Oh the old days, haha. :) In any case, I should finish this RWE book so I can justify buying the next one. So far the most quoted people are (aside from the obvious) Eric Hoffer and George Eliot.
We'll see how long it takes me to pick that back up again.
Today I was going about my duties, dropping off report forms to the various schools, nothing out of the ordinary. I stop by the elementary school and am informed by the skills coordinator (my school contact) that one of the children I brought a form for is no longer in the state. I was surprised at this news for a variety of reasons: 1) I have an appointment with his older sister next week and 2) they are in state custody which usually means fast moving is not allowed. *imagines slow motion clients*
In any case, the mother apparently picked up on the fact that the kids were close to getting taken away and sent them out of the reach of the local authorities. I had already assessed two of the children and found nothing diagnosably wrong with them. I expected this last one to be similar except the fact that this one was the reason they were in state custody in the first place. In short, she ran away.
It amazes me how people are surprised that their children are having such difficulty when they are the worst examples of accepting responsibility for their own choices. I was meeting with my supervisor today and I have a six year old whose favorite movie is "It". You know, the one with the scary clown written by Stephen King. I haven't seen it and for good reason. The grandmother was shocked at the idea that such a movie would have any impact on the mental health of a six year old. Are people really that clueless?! I mean, my brother couldn't even watch Unsolved Mysteries because it was too scary and gave him nightmares.
In any case, the state can't do anything because the kids are long gone and mom gets away with it. That'll teach her. Sure, they were going to take the kids away, but to me it seems rather selfish. Send your kids away so they don't get sent away? That makes lots of sense! *note sarcasm* Meh, I just close the file now. One less unwilling parent to struggle with.
Yesterday was our corporate Christmas party. It was a couple hours drive (which I was volunteered to be the van driver) with my coworkers each way. It consisted of awards for longevity, other such acknowledgements, a slideshow and the giving of the Employee Bonus. An unexpected treat. :)
One of my co-workers is pretty...liberal. Actually, I would venture to say that several of them are. When our boss was going around wishing everyone "Merry Christmas" she was so kind to remind him of the politically correct greeting of "Happy Holidays". Today, my administrative supervisor joined our meeting regarding Children's Services and as he was leaving he wished us "Merry Christmas" and said that he did not mean "Happy Holidays" but "Merry Christmas". It just so happened that my co-worker that is so politically correct was in the room, saying nothing, and apparently fuming at such an offense.
It just made me wonder. What is so upsetting to these people? Are they mad because we don't think the same way as they do? Are they upset that they don't get their own way? Does our belief threaten their own, just by its existence? Is it offensive that we actually believe something when they prefer vague and ambivalent titles instead of concrete definitions because they have no belief system?
When you ask them questions similar to these, they will say that they have the right to not believe/agree with you. Of course! I agree completely! I also have the right to not believe/agree with them. Or does only one person get such a right? The squeaky wheel gets the oil, right? Maybe the believers should squeak a little more.
I subscribe to a newsletter for a drug rehab facility and received this article today. I found it particularly interesting because here at our clinic, we have a group for teen drug court. On one particular day, I was asked to sit in because our Substance Abuse Counselor had an emergency and some of the kids in the group are my clients anyway. One particular group member talked about how they had 6 "Rockstar"s already that day. Replacing one addiction with another addiction. It's dangerous business and I'm interested to see what happens.
I'm attaching the full article in the event that the link has an error (it didn't work the first time I clicked it).
Hooked on Energy Drinks? Experts Warn of Serious Risks
By Hugh C. McBride
If a growing number of experts and advocates get their way, it may become a bit more difficult for American teenagers to party like a "Rockstar."
In the aftermath of a Johns Hopkins University study that questions the safety of caffeine-rich energy drinks such Rockstar, Red Bull, and Monster, 99 drug abuse and addiction experts have signed a letter to the U.S. Food and Drug Administration requesting mandatory warning labels and restrictions on the manner in which these products are marketed.
The study was published on the ScienceDirect website and in the September 2008 edition of the journal Drug and Alcohol Dependence. Both the letter and the study were authored by Roland R. Griffiths, Ph.D., a professor of behavioral science and neuroscience at Johns Hopkins School of Medicine.
Too Much Caffeine
Energy drinks have been the subject of considerable concern as their popularity has soared in recent years, particularly in regard to their widespread consumption by adolescents and teenagers. Griffiths and the 98 other experts who signed the FDA letter are especially concerned about the amount of caffeine contained in these drinks, and the effect that that drug may be having on young consumers.
"The caffeine content of energy drinks varies over a 10-fold range, with some containing the equivalent of 14 cans of Coca-Cola," Griffiths said in a release that announced the publication of his study. "Yet the caffeine amounts are often unlabeled, and few include warnings about the potential health risks of caffeine intoxication."
Griffiths and co-authors Chad Reissig and Eric Strain directly addressed this issue in the abstract that introduced their study:
The caffeine content of soft drinks is regulated by the FDA, and is limited to no more than 71 milligrams of caffeine per 12-ounce serving. According to Kathleen Doheny's Sept. 24 article on the WebMD website, the average 12-ounce can of Coke contains 34.5 milligrams of caffeine; Pepsi contains 38 milligrams of caffeine per 12 ounces; and Mountain Dew has 54 ounces in a 12-ounce serving.There are increasing reports of caffeine intoxication from energy drinks, and it seems likely that problems with caffeine dependence and withdrawal will also increase.
In children and adolescents who are not habitual caffeine users, vulnerability to caffeine intoxication may be markedly increased due to an absence of pharmacological tolerance. Genetic factors may also contribute to an individual's vulnerability to caffeine-related disorders including caffeine intoxication, dependence, and withdrawal.
Because energy drinks are classified as "dietary supplements," though, no FDA review or approval is required before these products hit store shelves. The Johns Hopkins researchers, Doheny reported, found that many of the most popular energy drinks contain considerably more caffeine than is found in the average soda:
- Red Bull: 80 milligrams of caffeine per 8.3 oz. serving
- Tab Energy: 95 milligrams of caffeine per 10.5 oz. serving
- Monster and Rockstar: 160 milligrams of caffeine per 16 oz. serving
- No Fear: 174 milligrams of caffeine per 16 oz. serving
- Wired X505: 505 milligrams of caffeine per 24 oz. serving
In an Oct. 9 post on the Washington Post's "The Checkup" blog, writer Rob Stein noted that poison control centers reported at least 41 cases of energy drink-associated caffeine intoxication between 2002 and 2004. "And that's probably just the tip of the iceberg," Stein wrote.
Exacerbating the risk, Griffiths said in a Sept. 25 article on the ScienceDaily website, is that there is currently no requirement for manufacturers to list the caffeine content on energy drink cans. "It's like drinking a serving of an alcoholic beverage and not knowing if it's beer or scotch," the researcher said.
A Gateway To Alcohol Abuse?
In addition to risks that are directly associated with caffeine ingestion, energy drinks also pose dangers due to the manner in which they are often ingested. In the abstract section of their study, Griffiths, Reissig, and Strain noted that the prevalence of mixing energy drinks with alcohol may lead young consumers into other unhealthy behaviors:
At first glance, concerns about energy drinks serving as a "gateway" to more dangerous drug use may appear to contain a Reefer Madness-like sense of hyperbole - but as science writer Jill U. Adams noted in her Oct. 13 article in the Los Angeles Times, research supports this association between energy drinks and the misuse of other substances:The combined use of caffeine and alcohol is increasing sharply, and studies suggest that such combined use may increase the rate of alcohol-related injury. Several studies suggest that energy drinks may serve as a gateway to other forms of drug dependence.
- A survey of 795 college students found that respondents who drank at least six energy drinks a month were three times more likely to have smoked cigarettes, abused prescription drugs, and been in serious physical fights than were students who consumed fewer energy drinks. The members of the high-consumption group were also twice as likely to have smoked marijuana and had alcohol-related problems (including hangovers or blackouts). This study was published in the March/April 2008 edition Journal of American College Health.
- A web-based survey of more than 4,000 college students found that almost one-fourth of those who had consumed any type of alcohol had mixed it with an energy drink, and students who drank the alcohol-energy drink cocktail reported more drinking-related consequences, such as unsafe sex, injury, or driving while intoxicated. The study was published in the May 2008 edition of the journal Academic Emergency Medicine.
Calls For Regulation
The letter that Griffiths wrote to the FDA is the latest in a series of efforts to control the sale of energy drinks.
Until recent changes in their nation's laws, Finland, France, Iceland, and Switzerland had banned energy drinks that contained taurine (a popular ingredient) or elevated levels of caffeine. Bans on these drinks remain in place in Denmark, Norway, and Uruguay.
Closer to the United States, an article in the Sept. 22 edition of Canada's National Post newspaper reported that schools in three Canadian provinces had sent warning letters to parents about the risks associated with energy drinks, and that the health minister of Nova Scotia had halted plans by Red Bull distributors to hand out free cans of the drink outside a high school in that province.
"We are getting kids coming into school unable to put in any kind of work effort because they are so high on these drinks," Dr. Lamont Sweet, Prince Edward Island's deputy chief health officer told Post writer Tom Blackwell. "They are causing hyperactivity, excitement, agitation, [and] inability to concentrate."
To date, the FDA has not issued any public warnings related to the consumption of energy drinks, nor has the agency responded to calls for additional oversight of the manufacture and sale of these products.
I am so unorganized. Not really, but yes. The thing is, if I have make time I can be super organized girl. I'll go through little stints of motivation and organization, but the follow-through just doesn't stick around. I have a planner, but it seems like it's once every two weeks that anything gets written in it. I just hate writing the SAME things over and over again in my daily task list. I have a PDA provided through work, but it just doesn't make it out of my purse when I have it with me. Then it doesn't sync right and I just have to spend an hour cleaning up the mess that it created because I input information on the PDA and the computer. Blah. Plus, I don't want to put my personal stuff on a calendar/to-do list that my co-workers can read. Hmmm, maybe there's a private option.
In any case, yesterday I spent some time at work convincing myself that I was again going to try to use the PDA again because it saves me from having to write the same thing over and over, right? Just click "recurring" and set it up. :) Then it wouldn't sync. Now, don't think I'm one of those technologically impaired people because I'm not. I can figure things out pretty quickly and most technology runs seamlessly for me, but these PDAs just don't like me.
I considered the concept of one of those phone/PDA in one things, but they are just too bulky (and expensive) when I can get a free PDA at work.
Along with my new-found motivation I told my husband that I was going to clean out the office yesterday. The way the "office" is set up, his music stuff is on half of the room and my books/desk is on the other half. My makeshift desk has taken to just collecting things without any organization. It needed to be cleaned off so I would actually use it. Procrastination was no longer an option. I told him at lunch and came home and started my task. The amazing thing was...he just started cleaning.
I should mention that he's really great about cooking and doing dishes, etc. since I'm working while he's in school, but just like for anyone else, it gets monotonous. So, I start cleaning the office and he decides he's motivated too. He makes the bed, vacuums the entire apartment (office as the exception), mops the kitchen floor, finishes the dishes, etc. Who knew that motivation was so contagious?
It makes me wonder what other things are contagious in a family. Parents who yell and scream give it to their kids? Parents who are kind and nice give that to their kids? Aggression? I'm sure there are lots of things. I guess it's part of that leadership thing I mentioned earlier. If my actions impact another person, why not do more things?
I suppose I'll finish organizing...one day.
